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Monthly Archives: May 2010

Adventures at The Dentist’s

OMGoodness! I haven’t been here in almost a month. Thank you Arit for your complement this evening, it stirred me up to write again.

Toks plopped into the dentist’s chair, the head wrap preventing her head from connecting with the headrest. The dentist turned around, startling the poor patient. She had false eyelashes that threatened to poke their way through her designer glasses….she glared at her patient with eyes that screamed the obvious, her den had just been invaded. A quick scan around the room for an escape hatch and Toks knew she was in trouble. There was no crawling out- the dentist’s large-sized bottom blocked out every ray of light that struggled to force it’s way through the burglary-proofed window. The doorway was obstructed by a trembling assistant. Toks knew that the said assistant was bound to inject her with mouthwash in error. So she stayed…and prayed.

I attended a dental appointment yesterday and the dentist wasn’t anything like I expected. To tell the truth I don’t quite know what I was expecting or hoping for but she certainly wasn’t it. My dentist turned out to be a real mama. The type that would not be caught dead wearing anything less than her full traditional attire, with matching shoes and bag from a store like Zaffaella.

She looked more like the one whose diary is filled with 40th and 50th birthday celebrations, along with christenings and house-warming parties through out the year. Her conversations will be peppered with “Ore mi, (my friend) I have hot jist” and “I’m tired of my 8 month old car, it’s about time I changed it“. She doesn’t eat at parties, choosing instead to bring her own cooler of rice for herself and her friends. One must be careful, you never know who is envious of you, like that Kemi.

Her friends are fellow dentists and other qualified professionals. She doesn’t hang out with the likes of Kemi who simply wants to feel like she “belongs”. Kemi works for some accounting firm somewhere, who even knows the name of the firm?

She attends church every Sunday, you may have met her if you are a member of the mega church downtown. She’s the one with the ridiculously large hat that come rain or shine, hat must match her shoes and consequently her bag. She got married last year and her wedding is still the talk of the town. Her friend Penny appears to be trying to out-do her but it will never happen. She went to Dubai last month to purchase her ring. This is the 6th one as the diamonds appear to shrink with each month that passes. Maybe she actually does it to cover her knuckles, the evidence of the experimental skin bleaching she carried out a few years ago.

She loves the status that comes with her job, but quite frankly would rather run her own practice on Harley St, London. Right there is the caliber of patients someone of her importance should be treating. She needs to work where people will notice that the shoes she wore on Monday were Jimmy Choos and the ones she has on today are Christian Louboutins. She really shouldn’t be doing this job, where patients’ jaws drop open when she tells them the cost of a procedure that isn’t available on the National Health Service. Just the other day this cheap skate came in asking if they offer discounts to single mums- she wanted a gold tooth.

Anyway, it’s only for a while. Once the no-good husband she managed to marry finally lands the “big contract” he keeps going on about, she just might take the plunge into private practice.

Her next patient arrives, with a head wrap on. She turns to look at her….

Thank you for reading, do come back!